Sacrificial Lies
by AiRyuhou
Summary: GinMomo. Hinamori's perspective on Gin and what she feels about him. Read if you like. Its dark hinamori


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A/N: Its different from my usual "Stuff" Please note its Dark Momo so don't like don't read. Also wish I owned Bleach but I'm not Kubo Tite.

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It was all a lie I never loved him

It was all a lie I never loved him. I only served him in order to get to the one that captivated my existence. The darkness that surrounds him is like a drug and once I caught a whiff of it I wanted it more than life. He changes my innocent demeanor to something unstable and horrifying.

I miss that voice that caused me fear and allowed me to see another part of world that the innocence I was raised from would not allow me to see. Fear, deception, hate; he taught me these well with his obnoxious smirk. Never a real smile could be found from a man filled by darkness. He cornered me as a student and though I was afraid he whispered to me all the horrors I wanted…no longed to hear…

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_Can you tell me, softly  
How you'll always haunt me  
Can you help me_

_

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_I wanted to hear you keep talking and killing what was left of my original being but you walked away from everything that happened. You left with the man I served…I just wanted him to leave not you. I played my part to well I guess, but it was so no one would know what I truly wanted. I didn't want to hear the laughter and mocking that would come from you. Fake insanity and pretend to hate you in order to be able to feel guilt for my fake loves' death. I don't care if you kill me, just…

_

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_

Hold me  
Come to me now, slowly

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When I see dressed like that and by his side all I want is to know the reason you follow him. You asked me the same once. Just tell me it's not for the same reason I provided once in that lie I told you. Just touch me even if it's with your blade, at least it's a touch…

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_You caress me, smoothly  
Calm my fears and soothe me  
Move your hands across me  
Take my worries from me_

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When the war began between us and you, I still believed I could Reach for you, Follow you, and Serve your purpose as long as it was yours that dream was broken by Kira's actions. He pulls his sword and wishes to avenge the loyalty that you failed to provide. He hates you isn't that silly, after all he wanted me to die in order to protect you. What a child? You will never see him coming; you are busy playing with Kenpachi-san and Matsumoto-san. So…

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_I will sacrifice  
I will sacrifice  
All I have in life  
To clear my conscience_

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I will kill him to save you. I will throw away my fight with the Espada and join your side. I will kill a friend to get to you. You warned me once of the consequence I would face in order to get what I want. You know for always appearing to close your eyes off to everything, you are rather perceptive.

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_I will sacrifice  
I will sacrifice  
All I have in life  
Sacrifice, sacrifice_

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I know now I will not be able to intercept him. Kira is moving to fast and is to far, but I can reach you. I wonder if you will feel my spiritual pressure before you feel his. Will you know that it was you that I move to save and not Aizen? Or did you already know that when you saw the look of panic when Kenpachi-san got to close to your face and those horrible beautiful red eyes?

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_Can you feel me, solely  
Deeper still and wholly  
With your understanding  
And your arms around me_

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I can feel your spiritual pressure and its darkness. It glows around me, like hands that twist my nature to will. To bad it's not your own real hands that bend me and break me. I will reach you. I will save you. I can't wait to see your surprise. Just promise to catch me….

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_  
Can you help me  
Hold me  
Whisper to me, softly  
Move your hands across me  
Take my worries from me_

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The Espada looks ticked that I decided to run. I know the others are confused as well. Did they even dream I could betray them for you of all people? I'm not the person I once was. My smiles and ambitions are all part of a façade as long as I can have you in one way or another. I will make it…

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_I will sacrifice  
I will sacrifice  
All I have in life  
To clear my conscience_

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I will right the wrongs I gave you. Just don't laugh. I rather prefer your superiority to your laughter. Just know I prove myself for you today, since yesterday I lied to you. I will sacrifice my being to become your life or what ever creature you wish me to be. Just know…

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_I will sacrifice  
I will sacrifice  
All I have in life  
Sacrifice, sacrifice_

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Hunh…_Squish_…Damn that hurt. Why does it feel like everything froze in time? Kenpachi-san and Matsumoto-san have such ugly expressions on it makes me smirk. You look confused as I smile and Kira…well he looks repulsive. What sadness? What stupidity? Your face though, I can finally see your eyes. They really are beautiful with that questioning, 'Why?'

Of course, you wouldn't get it. You're still boyish in many ways. So I smile and ask "Why do you think?" as the blood trickles down my lips. You're not moving just starring and I'm losing consciousness. "I lied Gin," I answer for him. "I don't love him, it was all pretend…besides…you said I would pay the consequence for what I want…I just decided to pay them a bit sooner…"

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_I will sacrifice  
I will sacrifice  
All I have in life  
Sacrifice, sacrifice  
Sacrifice, sacrifice  
Sacrifice, sacrifice  
Sacrifice, sacrifice  
Sacrifice, sacrifice_

_"I Hinamori Momo scarfice for...Ichimaru Gin..."_


End file.
